


I want to know what you look like without a weight on your soul

by amako



Series: ShikaSakuWeek 2017 [6]
Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, Kiba doesn't know how to deal with feelings, Light Angst, Neji is a protective bastard, Pre-Relationship, Sakura does her best, Shikamaru is kind of a dick, The opposite of a fix-it, as in I break the happiness in canon to fit it into my story, but he gest better, it's a break-it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-25
Updated: 2017-09-25
Packaged: 2019-01-05 11:40:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12189297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amako/pseuds/amako
Summary: "I came to apologise.""Okay.""I'm sorry.""Okay."





	I want to know what you look like without a weight on your soul

**Author's Note:**

> ShikaSakuWeek Day Six: Hokage
> 
> Title from Disarm you by Kaskade and Ilsey

"And from now on, you shall be known as Hachidaime Hokage."

 

Sakura doesn't listen to what the Councilor says after. She can hear the blood rushing in her ears, her heart beating too fast and making her sick. Faintly, she registers Kiba's hand in the small of her back and Neji's wrapping around her arm when she feels her knees weakening.

She barely nods, accepts the folded mantle with the hat on top and promptly shoves everything in Kiba's arms. She bows awkwardly and almost runs away from the room. Sakura rushes to the bathroom and barges into a stall, throwing up the next second. She's panting when she slides against the door, curling up in a ball in the narrow corner. She wipes her mouth with a shaking hand, but the nausea is too strong and soon enough, she's emptying her stomach again.

Neji finds her a few minutes later, near the sink where she's washing the taste from her tongue (and he probably waited for the sake of her dignity, the gentle bastard). He brought the clothes too, probably because Kiba is too much of a coward to deal with feelings. Silently, she takes the mantle and drapes it over her shoulders, before putting the hat on her head. Sakura doesn't look at herself in the mirror. She turns around and leaves the bathroom, to much of a coward herself to face the judgement she's sure to find in Neji's eyes.

Kiba joins them shortly after, appearing in a swirl of leaves. The three of them walk to the office and Sakura is thankful to find the Councilors gone. She bites the inside of her cheeks hard enough to draw blood and goes to sit on the dark chair. Like faithful shadows, Neji and Kiba stand guard behind her back and she calls in one of the teams waiting for debriefing.

And just like that, the circle is closed and the student became the master. Sakura is Hokage, as were both her teachers before her.

In a hospital room, the Nanadaime is entering his sixth month of sleep.

 

It takes three days for the word to go around the village. Sakura hasn't left the office, with the amount of work postponed when Naruto's prognosis was still positive falling on her shoulders. Kiba or Neji occasionally go out to bring back some food, but Sakura is still in the same spot forty-eight hours after her nomination.

It's also the three days it takes to come back from Suna, and it's no surprise that at seven in the morning on the fourth day, the door slams open. Sakura takes a breath and braces herself, before relaxing slightly when she recognises Shikamaru (albeit followed by the Council). They're arguing loudly and don't pay attention to the people in the room. She tries not to listen too openly, but they're fifteen feet away from her.

 

"What were you thinking?" Shikamaru shouts, rage colouring his features. "Don't you have any respect left for your Hokage?"

"Our Hokage is in this very room, Advisor. We made the best of the situation."

Shikamaru scoffs. "You mean _her_?" And Sakura freezes, the venom in his voice draining the blood from her face. "She's as ready as Naruto was after the Fourth War. Naming her was an incredibly stupid decision."

"We know that, but we had to appoint someone and as his teammate, she's trusted to uphold his legacy."

"Riiight—"

Sakura rises so fast her chair falls on the ground. "Don't talk about Naruto like he's dead!"

 

Both Shikamaru and the Councilor jump in surprise, having apparently forgotten that she's here.

 

"We are making progress and he _will_ wake up! So don't you dare talk about him like that!"

 

She doesn't realize that she put her fist through the desk until the shocked expression on the Councilor's face registers. Shikamaru has an eyebrow raised and looks so haughty that for a minute, she can't add up the man in front of her and the Shikamaru she knows.

 

Sakura throws the hat on the remains of the desk and motions to Kiba and Neji. "I'm taking a break." And with that, she vanishes through the window. The ANBU barely exchange a glance and Kiba follows after her. Slowly, Neji turns to Shikamaru and the Councilor backs down before leaving the room.

 

"You, Nara, are a disgusting prick," he spits, acid filling his tone.

"Oh, shut it. I—"

"You _nothing_. Do you have any idea what you just said to her? That woman saved our collective asses more times than I can count. She healed me at the cost of her own safety when my own cousin had given up on me. She healed Naruto and the Uchiha, Kakashi, and then even Ino and you. She saved your father by lifting a _fucking building_ with her bare hands!"

 

Neji is seething and Shikamaru looks so stubborn he just wants to break his jaw.

 

"She almost killed herself trying to keep him alive long enough for the medics to come. Without her, Naruto wouldn't be in a coma, he would be dead. A now, they put on her shoulders a position she never wanted and feels like she stole from her best friend. And what do you say to her?"

 

He's nose to nose with the Nara heir, a chakra-covered finger pointing at his chest.

 

"That she's not good enough? Do you think she doesn't know that? Do you think she doesn't wake up at night sobbing and pleading Naruto to come back? She tearing herself apart in this fucking office trying to run an ungrateful village and you, her friend, come home to put her down? Fuck you, Nara. Fuck you."

 

And Neji leaves Shikamaru on the spot to run after Kiba and the walking disaster he is when he tries to comfort people he loves. Damage control. He will deal with the fallout of this clusterfuck later.

 

Sakura slips into the office forty minutes later. She bled herself dry of chakra, giving as much as she could to Naruto before coming back. She managed to loose her ANBU on the way to the hospital and she revels in the solitude. The chair is back on its feet and the desk has been changed (she knows for a fact that there is small supply from Tsunade's days).

She slumps down in the chair and takes a deep breath, her eyes fluttering closed. She takes five seconds to center herself, before every mask she's forged in her life comes covering her like an armour. She rolls her shoulders and gets back to work. In a corner of the room, hidden in his beloved shadows, Shikamaru is watching her.

When it becomes clear that Sakura is really going to work barely an hour after he accused her of incompetence, he hides his face in his hands. No one felt as much of a dick as he feels right now. So he carefully lets out his chakra as to not startle her. He watches as she tenses progressively, her hand tightening around her pen when she recognises his chakra.

 

"What can I do for you, Shikamaru?" Even her tone is neutral, like he never insulted her in the first place.

 

He comes out of the shadows. "I came to apologise."

"Okay."

"I'm sorry."

"Okay."

He shifts from one feet to another. "Are we good?" She frowns almost imperceptibly before answering. "No, we're not, Shikamaru. You've been disrespectful, insulting and completely unhelpful as an advisor. We're not okay. But I'm glad you apologised."

 

He swallows with difficulty but nods, accepting her judgement. Her face seems to soften a bit and she asks if he wants to sit down.

 

"Can you take a look at this mission report? I think something is missing if you compare it to the genin's report."

"Sure."

 

When Kiba and Neji come back, pissed off at their Hokage but glad they finally found her, Shikamaru and Sakura are working side by side. The silence is amiable and the smiles are warm. It's not perfect, but it will have to be enough. They have a village to run.

 

**Author's Note:**

> To expand a bit on Shikamaru's behaviour, because I'm too tired to write another 2k of this. He's stressed because the other villages are demanding answers about the total silence from Konoha's end for the last six months. He had to deal with being a sort-of Hokage until the Council decided to appoint someone and he's very frustrated. This does not excuse his borderline abusive behaviour and that's why, at the end, he accepts that Sakura doesn't forgive him just yet. He's not a total dick so he knows when he fucked up and not to press right now.


End file.
